My mom taught me to manifest before I ever knew there was a word for it.
She used to say, “Carrie, just make a collage of what you want and you’ll get it.” And we’d clip images from my dad’s Robb Reports and other magazines. Beautiful homes. Porsches. Designer clothes. Belize. The beach. All the things she loved.
She was definitely on to something. But she was missing a few pieces.
She unexpectedly died in 2013, the year it all fell apart. I had to figure out the rest without her.
That December, I wrote a post about the year I had. I found it this week, still sitting in my old Facebook Notes (remember those?). Here it is:
Cardessa is my given name. Everybody calls me Carrie.
I’m gonna share some of it with you exactly as I wrote it back then…because I made a promise in that post. And 13 years later, I’m finally ready to deliver on it.
To set the stage, I was 29, and for the past 18 months I had been working my first "real job" as a temp at an oil and gas company in Houston.
My hard work finally pays off and I get a permanent job offer! Great pay, high travel (I LIVE for hotels and airports), benefits, the works…
Somehow within the course of 1 week of receiving the offer, EVERYTHING unravels. My offer is suddenly rescinded…AND…The position I currently had, I’m FIRED! “Wha…”
I floated back to my cubicle from the HR lady’s office in shock. I turned in my badge, my laptop, my computer bag. Drove out of that parking garage for the last time, still in disbelief.
That was the bad news. I thought. The next morning, things got even more interesting.
I woke up at 6am, and for the first time in a long time, I have nowhere to go… I [picked up my phone and] noticed I had a text message from my aunt who never texts me: CALL ME WHEN YOU GET THIS.
I got a funny feeling. Long story short, I found out my mom had fallen unconscious and by the time I got to L.A. she was brain dead. Brain dead. It really did echo in my head. And there was nothing they could do. My mom died May 11, 2013, the night before Mother’s Day. She was 49.
And the next month, I turned 30.
Job, gone. Mom, gone. And THIRTY.
Not exactly the “new era” I had in mind.
That’s the thing about a blank slate nobody tells you…you don’t always get to choose what gets erased.
I spent that summer with my brother and sister. We grieved. And somewhere in there, I went looking for answers…
Last month I began mentoring and training under one of the last living masters of personal development and human potential, Mr. Bob Proctor… will be going to Toronto next month to meet and study with Bob.
There's something significant about 30 days. Anything you do in earnest for 30 days becomes ingrained, becomes a part of you. We have all heard this before, but I never knew it from first-person experience.
And the more I studied, the more I thought of my mom.
I wish I could tell her that I've found the missing pieces of the puzzle…that there are infallible, unerring laws that make the pictures you put on a collage, the vision you hold in your mind, become reality.
Mom gave me the collage. Here’s the part she never told me:
What you put on that collage has to be what you REALLY want. Not something you kinda like.
And cutting out pictures isn’t enough. You have to burn it into your mind. See it over and over. Feel it. Like it’s already yours. You gotta believe in it even when there’s zero evidence it’s ever gonna happen.
Learning all this didn’t make the grief go away. But it gave me somewhere to put it. So I made a decision.
For the past month studying with Bob I have begun to read with my mind and not with my eyes, and upon visualizing actually BURYING the sorrow that I have for my mother, by doing good deeds, the road ahead is clear. I will share these concepts with anyone with an open mind to entertain a new idea. Anyone who wants to live a prosperous life, have rewarding relationships, and enjoy the spiritual awareness of our connection to God. This is the best deed I can do.
Since I can’t share these big ideas with my dear Mother, the next best thing I can do is share them with you. After all, it took me 30 years to find them, and I’m a seeker… I’m putting together some cool stuff for 2014, and I want you to be a part of it :)
Y’all…it’s 2026. Life happened. Divorce. Moving states. Bankruptcy. I was experimenting with these laws in my own life. And spending a LOT of time in my own head. (Way too much, honestly.) I just couldn’t commit to showing up every week to share what I was learning.
But I never stopped studying. And I never stopped building a vision of what I really wanted to have, the way I wanted to live and the person I wanted to become.
So I kept living by these laws. Year after year. Quietly. And then one day I looked up and realized…wait. I’m living it. The stuff I wrote about.
A deeply satisfying marriage. Finally having a family of my own. Radiant health at 43. And a California home we live and work from that’s (almost) straight out of my journal. More on that “almost” next week.
So here I am, keeping the promise of sharing what I learned along the way. Every week from here: one idea, how it works, and how to use it to get the results you’re seeking.
Thirteen years late. Starting now. I’m so glad you’re here.
ONE CLICK POLL:
Ever made a vision board, or a collage of what you want?
Expect an abundance!
Carrie at Lucky Culture
